英语写作学习思考

中文文段

AI技术兴起之后，在当代学术讨论中，很多人开始认为，科学专业的学生应专注于他们的专业领域，哲学等文科课程似乎多余。尽管科学、技术、工程和数学领域对技术能力的需求不可否认，但从科学教育中排除文科将会是一个严重的错误，在我看来，文科，尤其是哲学，对科学专业的学生来说仍然是非常必要的，因为它们培界了学生的批判性思维、伦理推理和跨学科视角，而这些能力在日益复杂和相互依备的世界中，至关重要。

课堂上手写的作文

我在课堂上根据中文限时写了一篇翻译，暂时先不讨论里面的语法和词汇错误。
Since ai technology development,in current academic discussions.there are a plenty of people begin to think that the science students should focus on their major,a lot of liberal arts like philosophy seems unnecessary.although science,technology,engineering and math major’s need to the skill is undoubt.but excluding liberal arts from science education is literally a big mistake.in my opinion,liberal arts,especially philosophy.still should be considered as the most important part to science students.in cause of they cultivate the critical thinking,ethical reasoning and interdisciplinary perspective ability to students.moreover,these abilitys,in the increasingly complex and interdependent world is especially important.

可以看出来自己的语汇积累还有遣词造句能力是比较薄弱的，于是我利用Deepseek R1辅助，对文章进行了一些简单的修改，修改后内容如下：
With the rapid development of AI technology, there has been growing debate in academic circles about whether STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) students should focus exclusively on their majors. Many argue that liberal arts subjects like philosophy have become unnecessary. While the importance of technical skills in STEM fields is undeniable, completely removing liberal arts from science education would be a grave mistake. In my view, liberal arts—particularly philosophy—should remain an essential component of STEM education because they cultivate critical thinking, ethical reasoning, and interdisciplinary perspectives. These abilities are becoming increasingly vital in our complex, interconnected world.

利用ai辅助学习最大的好处就是随时随地根据我的需求去修改，并且能准确的指出我的错误：

主要错误修正和提升：

I. 逻辑连接问题：

  • 原文：”Since… there are… but…” 结构混乱 → 改为明确因果关系和对比结构
  • 原文两处句号错误分割句子（.there / .still）→ 修正为合理断句

II. 语法错误：

  • “a plenty of” → “many”（固定搭配错误）
  • “in cause of” → “because”（介词搭配错误）

III. 学术表达提升：

  • 增加”STEM”准确定义
  • “increasingly complex and interdependent world” → “complex, interconnected world”（更地道表达）
  • 补充连接词”particularly”加强语气

IV. 结构优化：

  • 原文145词 → 修改后109词（更简洁）
  • 合并零散短句，形成”现象-争论-立场-论据”的清晰结构

思考提升

当然如果只是这样的学习肯定是不够的，首先我们的ai修改版其实是比较普通的（相比起我自己的版本肯定会好一点），更重要的是我们句子的运用确实是缺乏了灵活性，为什么我会这么说，下面看一下老师给出来的提升版：

Since the rise of AI technology.There is a growing belief in contemporary academic discourse that science students should focus exclusively on their specialized fields, making liberal arts courses such as philosophy redundant. While the demand for technical expertise in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields is undeniable, the exclusion of liberal arts from science education would be a profound mistake.From my point of view,Liberal arts, particularly philosophy, remain essential for science students, as they foster critical thinking, ethical reasoning, and interdisciplinary perspectives that are indispensable in an increasingly complicated and interdependent world.

回顾我们上一篇文章《我对写作的看法》，我认为我们在英语写作学习中也应当遵循一个“写作提升”的过程，我们可以把两篇文章进行对比（可以利用ai提要求写一个提升版的文章），看一下哪里是欠缺的，首先我们可以对比出，语法丰富性、词汇地道性等等都有不小的差距，这时候我们就可以进行“写作”的操作了，提升版文章的句子运用不错，可以摘录下来，做一个分析（为什么这个用上之后文章会更好，可以用ai分析一下，但前提是自己要有思考的成果，不然也不能说是自己在学习，如果单单用ai去分析，那写作的是ai而不是你），我们在不断地进行写作的过程中，自然而然地积累了许多语汇，并且通过分析你是明白为什么要用和该怎么用的。并且在写作的过程中，反思和修正是一直在进行的：以自己手写的文章为例，里面“there are”的运用错误明显在提升版中可以看出来，而且我还能学习到同一种中文意思可以使用的另外一种更加丰富的语句。那么我们现在可以抽象地概括出这个写作模型了：

  1. 对比分析，发现自己的错误不足.
  2. 积累材料，运用于相似的环境当中.

最后贴一个语料积累更丰富的版本（在BBC等母语节目里面摘录）：

In the wake of the rise of Al technology, a prevailing argument in contemporary academic discourse, suggests that science studentsshould concentrate solely on their specialized disciplines.rendering liberal arts courses such as philosophy superfluous.While the demand for technical proficiency in science, technology.engineering,and mathematics (STEM) fields is undeniable. the exclusion of liberal arts from science education would constitute a profound oversight.I would like to contend here that liberal arts, particularly philosophy.remain indispensable for science students, as they foster criticalthinking,ethical reasoning, and interdisciplinary perspectives thatare crucial in an increasingly complex and interconnected world.

补充

欧美英语写作一个比较常见的论文结构模型：

  1. opening
  2. Argument 1 (Body paragraph 1)
  3. Arrangement 2 (Body paragraph 2)
  4. Concesslon Paragraph 让步段
  5. Concluslon